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Double standards. It’s everywhere, for both males and females, as well as race, religion, etc. We’ve created this world with expectations for one another that don’t make sense. Whether it’s due to our own insecurities or some deep-rooted desire to shut one another down, we’re quick to call someone out for not quite meeting our standards.
First and foremost, people tend to forget the most basic fact about men and women. I am not saying that men and women are not equal, but they are different, and we need to just accept it. Even our brains are designed differently.
The most well known double standard is the sexual double standard; a man can have sex as much as he wants, but a woman who has sex will be viewed as a slut. Yes, there are not many guys out there that would turn down an offer from a girl they were attracted to. So what is the difference if a man walks up to a girl and asks her into his bed than if a woman does it? None whatsoever. If a man can go out and pick up a different woman every night, then so can a woman. If a woman is labeled a slut for doing it, then so should a man. It is not the activity that has the double standard, but the mentality behind it. So to sum things up, girls are probably called sluts for having sex with multiple guys because they have to most to lose from having sex. But even then, it's just another unfair double standard.
Think of the consequences after such a liaison as well, which is the next double standard. What if the woman gets pregnant? As I talked about in a previous blog, there is a chance that one of the parents, usually the male, decides not to stick around to take care of the kid. But it is the woman who displays the "affects" of having sex. Society sees a young girl who's pregnant, and are so quick to judge. It's the girl who takes the brunt of the blame, not so much the guy.
On the flip side, one Double Standard faced by Men is that guys can't hit girls, but girls can hit guys. Why is that? Because it's just not right? Because they're weaker then men? When was the last time you saw a man not beat up another man just because he was weaker? Society has deemed it wrong for a man to hit a woman. But a woman hitting a man?
Another double standard would be manner of dress. Both men and women are limited in what they can wear outside that is deemed "ok" by society. There’s often a very fine line here. How short can a nice looking skirt be before it becomes suggestive? What does it say in this society when woman wears revealing clothes? When did it become a woman’s job to tailor her attire so that it won’t give off “the wrong idea”? Women more so then men are we expected to jump hoops and opt for the sweetheart cut versus the v-neck top because others are hasty to make unfounded decisions about the people we are based on how we clothe ourselves. The idea is that women should look nice and well put-together without turning anyone on, or reminding anyone of sex.
Now on the other hand, if a man wears shorts and no shirt, that is OK. But if a woman does this (well, at least in North America), it's not appropriate. Yet a girl walking down the street wearing a dress in summer is normal. A guy walking down the street also wearing a dress is unacceptable.
Another double standard is age. It's more acceptable for an older woman to be interested in younger men, but not for an older man to be interested in a younger woman. Yes, both sides get their share of harassment. But a man "cradle-robbing" is deemed creepy and much less acceptable than a "desperate cougar" seeking a young man.
A common double standard has plastered the media everywhere: movies, television, magazines. In order for a woman to truly be successful, she has to be good looking and talented. A guy just has to be talented. Men don't need to have to looks to be in the movies. But for a girl in a lead role? Usually, not only does the girl have to be physically attractive, but she has to have the talent as well. And if she doesn't have the body, she at least needs to have a pretty face. Not so much for a male lead.
As women seek to be equal to men, men lately seem to obsess over what it means to be a man. We ask that males are understanding, open and empathetic while demanding that they behave as robots with no personal emotional outlet. Sensitivity is considered a weakness. This male-identity crisis of self-consciousness has a lot to do with women’s rise to prominence and its effect on the male sense of self. There have been changes in the men-women dynamic that happened when women no longer necessarily needed to "rely" on men to survive. But beyond struggling to define their role with women or in society, men have slowly lost the ability to define themselves and ask themselves: “What does it mean to be a man?”
Women need to be strong but not opinionated. Emma Watson’s now-famous UN speech spoke to this point perfectly. “I have realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man hating,” Watson said. “If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.” Women are expected to be strong, forthright and loyal, without coming off as “opinionated” or “aggressive.” The word “opinionated” itself has become a way to describe a woman who needs to calm down, stripping her of any legitimacy, as well as any respect for that opinion and why she might have it. Even the most solid of points is likely to be brushed off if a woman demonstrates a bit too much passion. But it is not the “cool” thing to stand off in the corner during a great conversation, either uninterested or too afraid to speak up and be heard. Passion and opinion are what make people strong, not the other way around.
One common thought has arose to answer both the double standard and the male-identity crisis: you’re a man or a woman when you stop trying to prove that you are. Don’t waste time worrying about it. Get on with your lives, whatever your lives may be. Don’t look for manhood or womanhood in a can of body spray or magazine or TV.
First and foremost, people tend to forget the most basic fact about men and women. I am not saying that men and women are not equal, but they are different, and we need to just accept it. Even our brains are designed differently.
The most well known double standard is the sexual double standard; a man can have sex as much as he wants, but a woman who has sex will be viewed as a slut. Yes, there are not many guys out there that would turn down an offer from a girl they were attracted to. So what is the difference if a man walks up to a girl and asks her into his bed than if a woman does it? None whatsoever. If a man can go out and pick up a different woman every night, then so can a woman. If a woman is labeled a slut for doing it, then so should a man. It is not the activity that has the double standard, but the mentality behind it. So to sum things up, girls are probably called sluts for having sex with multiple guys because they have to most to lose from having sex. But even then, it's just another unfair double standard.
Think of the consequences after such a liaison as well, which is the next double standard. What if the woman gets pregnant? As I talked about in a previous blog, there is a chance that one of the parents, usually the male, decides not to stick around to take care of the kid. But it is the woman who displays the "affects" of having sex. Society sees a young girl who's pregnant, and are so quick to judge. It's the girl who takes the brunt of the blame, not so much the guy.
On the flip side, one Double Standard faced by Men is that guys can't hit girls, but girls can hit guys. Why is that? Because it's just not right? Because they're weaker then men? When was the last time you saw a man not beat up another man just because he was weaker? Society has deemed it wrong for a man to hit a woman. But a woman hitting a man?
Another double standard would be manner of dress. Both men and women are limited in what they can wear outside that is deemed "ok" by society. There’s often a very fine line here. How short can a nice looking skirt be before it becomes suggestive? What does it say in this society when woman wears revealing clothes? When did it become a woman’s job to tailor her attire so that it won’t give off “the wrong idea”? Women more so then men are we expected to jump hoops and opt for the sweetheart cut versus the v-neck top because others are hasty to make unfounded decisions about the people we are based on how we clothe ourselves. The idea is that women should look nice and well put-together without turning anyone on, or reminding anyone of sex.
Now on the other hand, if a man wears shorts and no shirt, that is OK. But if a woman does this (well, at least in North America), it's not appropriate. Yet a girl walking down the street wearing a dress in summer is normal. A guy walking down the street also wearing a dress is unacceptable.
Another double standard is age. It's more acceptable for an older woman to be interested in younger men, but not for an older man to be interested in a younger woman. Yes, both sides get their share of harassment. But a man "cradle-robbing" is deemed creepy and much less acceptable than a "desperate cougar" seeking a young man.
A common double standard has plastered the media everywhere: movies, television, magazines. In order for a woman to truly be successful, she has to be good looking and talented. A guy just has to be talented. Men don't need to have to looks to be in the movies. But for a girl in a lead role? Usually, not only does the girl have to be physically attractive, but she has to have the talent as well. And if she doesn't have the body, she at least needs to have a pretty face. Not so much for a male lead.
As women seek to be equal to men, men lately seem to obsess over what it means to be a man. We ask that males are understanding, open and empathetic while demanding that they behave as robots with no personal emotional outlet. Sensitivity is considered a weakness. This male-identity crisis of self-consciousness has a lot to do with women’s rise to prominence and its effect on the male sense of self. There have been changes in the men-women dynamic that happened when women no longer necessarily needed to "rely" on men to survive. But beyond struggling to define their role with women or in society, men have slowly lost the ability to define themselves and ask themselves: “What does it mean to be a man?”
Women need to be strong but not opinionated. Emma Watson’s now-famous UN speech spoke to this point perfectly. “I have realized that fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man hating,” Watson said. “If there is one thing I know for certain, it is that this has to stop.” Women are expected to be strong, forthright and loyal, without coming off as “opinionated” or “aggressive.” The word “opinionated” itself has become a way to describe a woman who needs to calm down, stripping her of any legitimacy, as well as any respect for that opinion and why she might have it. Even the most solid of points is likely to be brushed off if a woman demonstrates a bit too much passion. But it is not the “cool” thing to stand off in the corner during a great conversation, either uninterested or too afraid to speak up and be heard. Passion and opinion are what make people strong, not the other way around.
One common thought has arose to answer both the double standard and the male-identity crisis: you’re a man or a woman when you stop trying to prove that you are. Don’t waste time worrying about it. Get on with your lives, whatever your lives may be. Don’t look for manhood or womanhood in a can of body spray or magazine or TV.